Tweetphorisms

I’ve been looking back at some of my tweets lately and I’ve compiled a list of tweetphorisms, which are a cross between tweets and aphorisms.

- A good thing about Twitter is that if somebody wants to trash you they only have 140 characters to do so.

- In Europe tipping gets you nowhere, in USA not tipping gets you nowhere.

- One thing I love about my American friends is that they are less jugdemental, more willing to take risks.

- Great leadership is the ability to make followers thrive.

- Creative destruction is much hyped, but non destructive creation is better.

- They should not allow world cup teams to have foreign coaches.

- TV still exists because of simplicity, bandwidth and simultaneity.

- Religion is on its wait out in Europe, hence football.

- Marriages take work. Grass is not greener on the other side. It’s greener where it’s watered.

- Monopolies are like children in an airplane, you complain about them until you have one.

-  College must have been traumatic. I graduated in the 80s and still dream I’m not prepared for my Chemistry exam.

- Remember when Twitter was about people saying something? Now it’s all links.

- The value of a secret derives from the relevance of those whom we want to keep uninformed.

- You become 21, turn 30, push 40 and reach 50.

- Contradiction: Americans consume most oil in the world and yet they blame their President for the drilling accident.

- Math is the hardest subject to work hard at.

- Microsoft was easier to hate .

- Studying photography made me come to terms with cloudy days.

- I am for being tolerant with the intolerant, but it’s hard when the response is death threats.

- Europe needs to eliminate national armies and have just one European Army.

- Some people are afraid of the unknown. I tend to be more afraid of what I know.

- Netflix tells me what I will like, Vuze delivers it.

- Twitter should take pity on those who Tweet in German and give them a few extra characters

- The French should teach the Italians how to make desserts and in exchange learn how to make coffee.

- The only power left who still disguises economic ambition as ideology is USA. Russia and China gave up.

- The iPad is most useful in situations in which laptops are frowned upon.

- Downturns are great moments to gain market share.

- There’s an inverse relation between how cool you look watching a movie in an iPad and how dorky walking around listening to music.

- It’s not the role of companies to regulate if people date at work or not.

- Parents teach kids to be patient. In the process, they are learning to be patient themselves.

- The paradox of the music industry is that it’s being destroyed out of love for music.

- Most people in power in Europe would rather see Greece sink than the Euro rise again.

- What distinguishes people is not how much shit they have to deal with, but how they deal with it.

- You raise a child until one day you realize…you raised a person.

- 80% of good paternity is showing up.  Quality time is a cop out for absent parents.

- Twitter, all the news that’s fit to tweet.

- The iPad is an ideal toilet companion

- When people really want something they have a hard time comprehending it may not be possible

- Restaurant owners believe that there is an inverse relationship between their elegance and your understanding of the menu.

- Link shorteners should use one letter to show whats in them.

- In USA, kids are especially told not to talk to strangers.  But as adults they love to

- Jet lag is a good way of understanding the difference between being tired and wanting to sleep.

- Exams are so traumatic that people keep having nightmares that they show up unprepared decades later

- There are 2 kinds of people who rarely take vacations: those who can’t afford them and those who have a hard time dealing with themselves.

- Android will be very popular because Google does not make a living out of selling hardware.

- If you had a habit of talking to yourself, Twitter is perfect for you.

- It’s great when the person you love… is your wife

- Smartphones are amazing. But they are not that smart when all you want to do is make a phone call.

- The problem bailing out Greece is that the euro was too strong before the crisis.A weaker euro combined with cheaper oil helps EU.

- When two people in Twitter want to engage they leave. DMs are not enough. Unlimited DMs or DM chat would be better.

- Hillary Clinton may become for all  Israelis what Sharon was to Gaza settlers.

- Design is not great when it clashes with use.  Example? iPhones that fall out of pockets.

- Something tells me that it was not “the keyboard cat” what Chad had in mind when starting Youtube.

- Electricity consumption’s been down 5% in Europe since the crisis. Recessions are good for the environment.

- One of the weaknesses of Twitter is that it’s such a pain to always click on links.

- If you oppose to animal testing in medicine you favor human testing in medicine, or no progress in medicine.

- As it becomes widely used Twitter needs to raise the character limit to 200.

- USA should not have China finance its wars, it should have China fight them.

- Friendship is about people you know, dating is about people you don’t know, Facebook is evolving from friendship to dating.

- USA has the richest people in the world. Europe has the “richest” poor people in the world.

- English is the most widely spoken language.  That also makes it the language that is most frequently spoken poorly.

- Twitter, or a life worth sharing.

- Europeans want equality, Americans equal opportunity, Asians don’t seem too keen on either.

- Cable, telephone, mobile, Internet, newspapers, magazines, games and music industries did indeed converge in the end.

- Google is about linking to other sites.  Twitter is about linking to other sites.  Facebook instead warns you about the Internet.

- Models are hired to appeal to women.  They are women who women like. Most men like actresses more than models.

- Scientists in USA are admirable because all scientists are, but also because average folks in this country mistrust science.

- The problem with Twitter is that all watch what everyone else is doing and as a result…nobody does anything.

- First we had phone, SMS, email, then Skype, Gtalk, Facebook, Twitter, Buzz. I need new tech to start replacing old tech!!

- You can tell when somebody uses a Kindle because they stop counting pages and say: “I have 7% left to read”.

- The best argument against nuclear energy is that it’s used as an excuse by Iran and others for making nuclear weapons.

- Memories are the leftovers of experience

- We can use randomized controlled trials not just to test medicines but for social problems too.

- San Francisco can be seen as “at the edge of the tech world” or “the edge of the planet”

- Sometimes it is best to leave a book unfinished and imagine the rest.

- Haiti’s problems did not start with the earthquake, but they came to light with it.

- Religion exists because the truth is unbearable.

- America excels at the extremes. Europe focuses on raising the average.

- Most successful products are self evident.

- Blackberries are for work, iPhones for fun, Androids are somewhere in the middle.

- Anyone who tries to make a tablet without something like the iTunes Store will have a hard time competing against Apple.

- Twitter used to be a community of people who shared info, now it’s more and more a one to many broadcasting platform.

- After Law School you are a lawyer.  After Med School you are a Dr. But after Business School you are not an entrepreneur.

- Facebook is meaningless unless you know the people whose crap you read about.

- Writers block is passé, now it’s Twitter block.

- Emotion can be great motivation for writing, but it can backfire when you are trying to make a point.

- USA and Europe design, China makes.

- Terrorists attack USA partly because it is easily spooked.

- Uruguay is a country with no news to report. No news is good news.

- Safety with little police presence is a sign of civilization.

- Countries around here are either free and poor (St. Lucia) or colonies (Martinique) and rich.  So much for freedom

- Twitter: gossip never had it so good.

- The crying baby, the snoring man, two dreaded characters on night flights.

- Even though China is the biggest polluter in the world it still has the right to sell carbon credits to much cleaner Japan.

- Airline punctuality figures should include airport immigration expected delays.

- Some of the brightest people I know can’t spell.

- Most large exporters of energy are LDCs (less democratic countries)

- Spending a lot of time on Twitter makes you more informed but less knowledgeable.

- Twitter + links = Facebook – search

- Obama’s Nobel Prize speech should have been about racial reconciliation, not about justifying military action.

- Climate change may be disastrous. But we have a global sanitation, education, malnutrition and disasters now, first things first!

- Speed limits should relate to traffic.  No traffic, higher speed limits.

- Twitter is like Facebook in fast motion.

- Twitter:  speed dating of the intellect.

- Facebook is very expensive to run but has a business model. Twitter is very cheap to run but has not found one yet.

- Zapatero does not speak English, lives in the old media world and out of ignorance managed to turn the blogosphere against him.

- Apple is the only company that managed to go on with desktops.

- The success of Spotify in Spain shows that even in a country in which downloading is legal there’s a business model for music.

- Europe sees immigrants as people to train.  Americans also see them as people to learn from. Guess where they prefer to go?

- In Spain some under 20s are on Facebook, none on Twitter, and all on Tuenti.

- I still can’t understand how the country of the 35 hour work week came up with the word entrepreneur.

- The worst weather is when it’s almost freezing but instead of snowing…it rains. Just shy of profitability.

- If a country has social mobility and recession many can be better off even in bad times.  But Europe is screwed at this level.

- If anything Obama is proving that it is much harder to be a good President than a bad one.

- The crisis does have something positive:  it is a boom for entrepreneurship.

- Whenever I don’t get a reference I think it must be Star Trek, Star Wars or Lord of the Rings.

- Here we are squeezing our thoughts on Twitter because somebody a decade ago decided to limit SMS to 140 characters.

- Nations who won’t negotiate with terrorists shouldn’t pay pirates off

- People who don’t like photos of themselves: those who like themselves too little and those who like themselves too much.

- Twitter used to be microblogging. Now blogging is an extended tweet.

- Murdoch should not forego Google, if anything he should do the RSS thing and give them the headlines.

- The genius of the iPhone can be perceived during the brief time when you finish a charge and the battery runs out.

- Nobody ever made more money than Chaplin portaying misery.

- Spain has holidays that relate to each city. Next Monday, for example, is a holiday only in Madrid. All holidays should be national.

- Software upgrades offer significant risks in exchange for minor improvements.

- Whoever forces people to write http:// before a web site name should be spanked (Tom says shot).

- Big TV displays are begging for wireless connectivity to your laptop.

- The better I do the less I have to tweet about.

- Successful companies turn out to have many “cofounders”.

- Twitter gives you a unrealistic feeling of being famous.

- At the end of life few are sorry they did not spend more time at the office.

- The only really white people on the planet are the British

- There is so much to learn when you know very little!

- Canada, USA, Japan, Australia, other wealthy nations should allow free movement of labor as EU does already.

- Europe is about class struggle. USA about generational struggle.

- Overheard on Twitter:  To want to prove that God exists with a Bible is like wanting to prove that Batman exists with a comic.

- Facebook should allow you to gift pictures.

- Spanish is the second most spoken language in the world after Chinese and slightly ahead of English

- Book authors will be like musicians.  Books will be free on the net but authors will make money from public speaking.

- Never underestimate the power of a good story

- I never liked a TV series so much not to wait to watch it when I wanted to.

- Nobel Institute has just awarded itself the Obama Prize

- If you follow people in different continents, Twitter gives you a real sense for time zones. When I wake up California goes silent.

- If you know what you want to listen to go for Spotify, if you want to discover music use Last.fm.

- I have a dear friend who is not on Facebook. He is the last one standing.

- We should read what the Taliban says before more die in Afghanistan on both sides.

- Occupation of Iraq and Afghanistan is a waste of our military resources and goes against what we tell the world we stand for.

- If you can’t tell a story extremely well,  you can’t raise money for  a start up.

- It takes a while for US Presidents to realize that the only real power they have is abroad.

- One country one vote is not a way to run the world.  If you are a citizen of a large country you are underepresented.

- Managing online communities around a product is tough

- Apple’s software is amazing because it competes with Windows and Linux. Apple’s hardware is poor because it does not compete with anybody.

- The problem with tech after tax salaries in Italy is that social charges are so high that even if entrepreneurs spend more, coders get less.

- Choosing ice cream flavors you realize how different people are.

- Smartphones are like friends, one night I hang out with the Nokia, another with the iPhone, tonight is Android, but my real buddy is still the Blakcberry.

- Everyone I know believes in Twitter as a multibillion dollar business.  I only believe in Twitter as a centimillion dollar business.

- Unemployment is sad but paradoxically good for the environment and for start ups.

- Obama’s mistake with health care is that he chose an issue that his young voters don’t care so much about and his opponents do.

- The best moments in life often can’t be shared on Twitter

- Being an entrepreneur in Spain is like being a snowboarder in Jamaica.

- The Clinton Global Initiative is not about making it. It’s about what to do once you have made it… or about giving it away intelligently.

- So many people have left Hotmail for Gmail that when I see a Hotmail email I know its obsolete.

- Overpromising may make sense if those who overpromise end up producing more than they would have if they hadn’t overpromised.

- Indeed, why is English a must for so many simple jobs but not for President?

- Computers changed photography from the portrayal of who we are to the portrayal of who we want to be.

- Once you lie your way to the Presidency, other lies come easy.

- Location services should realize in which direction you are moving and give you recommendations ahead of you!

- In Spain people think that calling a person negro or black is derogatory but calling him negrito or little black is not.

- For Ubuntu to be popular it must find an easier to install unlisted programs than terminal.

- USA is so good at promoting cross ethnic/cultural understanding at home, and so bad at doing it overseas.

- Death is the test of evolution. We are programmed to die. Even if we conquered all disease we would only increase life expectancy by 12 years.

- The origin of antisemitism may be lack of reciprocity: what Jews believe in Christians/Muslims also believe in, but not the other way around.

- Conservatives in Spain want to ban access to social networks without parents consent. Good economic policies come from social retards.

- USA has more road deaths than no speed limit Germany

- Kids have this unusual ability to teach us what they don’t have: patience.

- Europe is just the best continent to live in.

- The French are among the most productive people in the world. Tariq says it’s because they can’t wait to leave asap for the aperitive